Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving Excitement, or Not So Much

This is the first time since the year we got married that we didn't write a "Thanksgiving Letter" and get it out on/before Thanksgiving. Our anniversary is November 4th, so the year we were married we just sent out a wedding picture for our holiday card. We both look forward to and LOVE Thanksgiving. Lots of good food and good times with family. No worries about gift giving or timing of everything. Just sit and eat and talk and have a good time. This year we decided to wait on the letter because of baby's arrival and we want to include that news in our holiday "thanks" this year.

This year was no exception. I am pregnant and love Thanksgiving food, so it was wonderful to feel guilt-free eating and snacking on 2 meals and lots of dessert on Thursday. We got Nathaniel down for his nap before our first meal, so it was also filled with child-free eating enjoyment. He slept for a decent nap, but was a bit overwhelmed by the 16 people there to welcome him from his nap. He enjoyed the time with "lots of people" before his nap as not everyone had arrived yet and sat well to take a picture with his Auntie Erin and cousin Nikolas as well as a picture with Mommy and Daddy for "Nathaniel's Baby's" baby book.



After Nathaniel's nap we headed to Anthony's parents' house for Thanksgiving in our pjs. It was nice to be relaxed and comfortable, especially being 38 weeks pregnant. Nathaniel was again a bit overwhelmed by the 18 people at this gathering, but enjoyed playing and showing off all his smarts to everyone. He crashed hard on Thursday night that is for sure.

We didn't do any Black Friday shopping this year. We just had a leisurely morning and then went to visit with Grandma and Grandpa D and Auntie Shireen. Anthony went with me to my OB appointment and that was good as I tripped and fell up the stairs on the way into the clinic and ended up in triage observation for 6 hours on Friday afternoon/evening. Not exactly what we had expected as we were planning to go to Anthony's aunt's house for dinner that evening. I came home having lost 6 hours and with a horrible headache. Thankfully Grandma and Grandpa D kept Nathaniel overnight so we were both able to get some extra sleep. It didn't really help my headache, but such is life. The headache has been going on and off since Friday, but the OB on call does not think it is anything to worry about unless it get worse or I start to have other symptoms. Let's hope all goes well and this little one stays in a little longer. Though the "nesting" instict hit me today and I did that rather than "work work", which is probably a good thing.

We got a Christmas Tree today - the earliest we have ever had one and even before we planned to get one today, I started to rearrange and move some of Nathaniel's toys upstairs so that we have more room in the living room and also give him another place to play. The upstairs in is good shape for him to play and I also wrapped all of his, the baby's, and my nephew's presents. I'm ahead of the game this year. Maybe I'm feeling like I should be more prepared for this little one's arrival. Though I think the sooner s/he arrives the easier it will be to get some things ready for Christmas later. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else but me though.

A couple other notes about baby. We had an ultra sound on Wednesday and everything looked fine with the baby measuring on the small side (a couple weeks behind, but there is a large margin of error this late in the game). We got a front view picture of baby's face and in some ways baby looks like big brother Nathaniel, but as Nathaniel says, "baby has a squishy face". My amniotic fluid is on the low end of normal, so the baby doesn't have a lot of space to move in there. And one added thing to the whole 6 hours in triage. The baby's heartrate was over 150 and in the 160s most of the time. The old wives tale is that over 140 means a girl, under 140 means a boy. So while many of us still think we're having another boy, Auntie Erin is waiting for her niece to arrive and a few others are hopeful for a little girl as well.

We will soon find out and let you know what our new addition is and what his/her name is.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Preparing to be a Mom Again

This past week I worked while many of my teammates had a break from work. It was awesome to have a relatively quiet office to work in and get lots of paperwork done. Unfortunately, there is a whole lot left undone. I will probably end up spending some of Nathaniel's nap time on Monday and Tuesday working on a bit of work to prepare for the crazy week back after Thanksgiving break. I can't believe we are getting this close to the end, but after some long days of sitting at my desk and lots of driving in my car, my body is starting to tell me lots of messages. The first message I hear is "you didn't strengthen those muscles enough between pregnancies ... we aren't strong enough to do what you want us to do". The second one I hear is "this baby is head down and practicing pushing his/her way out". The third one is "get to a restroom ASAP ... again those muscles we were telling you about". And the last one I get on and off "let's practice this whole contractions and downward movement thing". My poor husband has been under a lot of stress preparing for an arbitration and I have been awake on and off and having a hard time being comfortable at night. I am sure I am no help to his sleeplessness.

As I have been working non-stop to get evaluations and other due process done prior to my maternity leave I am noticing more and more how many philosophical differences are in play in our early childhood program. It is too much for my brain to try and sort out at the moment. I'm hoping that when I return from maternity leave a lot of the headache will have been sorted out in my absence. Is is sad that I am really looking forward to maternity leave? This is only partially related to having a baby and all of that excitement. It is also partially related to wanting and needing a break from work drama. I am sure once baby is here it will drastically change and I will just be focused on baby and family, but right now I'm looking forward to the break from work. The sad thing is that many co-workers have noticed the increased stress around my new role at work and have commented that "you must be looking forward to maternity leave". Once the comments continued to roll in I was thinking about it more and more. The nice thing about heading into maternity leave is my sub. I took her position when she retired and we had a few months to work together as mentor/mentee. She filled in for my last maternity leave and I had nothing to worry or think about as I knew everything would be taken care of while I was out. I know this time will be no different and it is so nice to have that sense of ease when moving out of work and leaving a lot of stuff to do.

So where are we? My body is getting ready to have this baby. My brain is working on organizing work life to have everything in place for my substitute and my leave of absence. Our house is basically ready. We have the carseat in the car. We have the bags packed. We know where to go. Anthony's big case is over, minus the post hearing brief. I guess the baby can really come whenever he/she is ready. I, however, know how important every day closer to 40 weeks is for the baby's development. I also would love to be able to work for a couple more weeks so that everything is really wrapped up and ready to go. I am going to do my best to enjoy this week off and not do much work. I spent the weekend getting my application finished and submitted for my OTD program. (Yikes!) I will probably write a couple of assessments or at least parts of assessments and will for sure spend a little time writing coverage notes for some of my students and I'm sure I will be doing quite a bit of email. But that will be done while Nathaniel naps so that he and I can spend what will probably be our last chance for a while to have "mommy and Nathaniel" time. He had some fun outside with daddy in the snow this morning and all of it is supposed to melt this week, so I think we'll have some fun running errands and having lots of playtime in our inside playground. (His slide is back in the basement and we have lots of fun with balls and time on the slide).

So while my body and mind are preparing for childbirth and having 2 children, I am going to do my best to enjoy the little man that I have. He gives Anthony and I lots to smile and laugh about on a daily basis. Below are some pictures from his adventure in the first snow of the season as well as his pre-bedtime call to his Auntie Erin.

Calling Auntie Erin


Trying out the shovel

Gave up on the shovel - Decided to use his hands to help daddy get the snow off the deck instead

Nathaniel and his purple shovel

Sunday, November 13, 2011

OTD - I must be nuts

Sitting in the recliner, completely uncomfortable, and updating my resume and writing a personal statement to go back to school for a clinical doctorate. I must be nuts.

The baby is kicking in all awkward ways. I am not sleeping partly due to cold/illness, partly due to a 2 year old with a cold/illness, and partly due to being less than 4 weeks from my due date. No more big bouts of contractions since last weekend thankfully, but I am getting very uncomfortable these days. It's just getting towards the end where I really do have to pay attention to changing my position frequently, which can be difficult for me, especially when I am in a rhythm of writing reports or doing billing or other paperwork.

I had my first of my last 4 weekly OB appointments on Friday. Yikes - we are in the home stretch. It was check-up as usual, but again with the end of this pregnancy I am measuring on the small side. This means another late term ultrasound in 1-2 weeks to made sure the baby is the right size. I think this one will just be like Nathaniel and it's all baby in there with not as much room/fluid to make me larger. I'm a small person. There is only so much space for this baby to grow. But I guess best to be on the safe side and have another ultrasound. We'll see if I spot anything this time to make me think boy or girl. I thought I spotted something when I had my late term ultrasound with Nathaniel, but then the ultrasound tech said something about long fingers, so I second guessed myself. I love the surprise anyway and getting to hear it come from Anthony is great too. My hemoglobin is low again, so I'm back to taking more iron supplements now and probably after baby arrives since I was low on iron after Nathaniel. No wonder I am so tired - overworked, very pregnant, and low iron count in my blood. The biggest news from the visit is that I am starting to dilate (a very small amount). This is no sign that the baby is coming early per my OB, but it is big news in this house because this is more than I progressed on my own with Nathaniel. Only time will tell when this little one decides to come, but hopefully not until after daddy's trial on Friday and after I get a bunch of work things settled in the next couple of weeks.

We are starting to feel ready around here however. We have the cradle back in our room and Nathaniel rocks it every day. It is the cradle that Anthony's grandfather made for his children. Grandma Kay slept in it, daddy slept in it, Nathaniel slept in it (among many other aunts, uncle, and cousins) and now this little one will sleep in it. My bags are packed with a exception of a few toiletries and the car seat is in the car. I think we are ready physically and getting there mentally. Nathaniel continues to want to "see the baby" every day - which means lifting up my shirt so that he can press his hands and face on my belly and fingers into my belly button as the baby is "inside there".

Here's an image that brought smiles and laughter to Anthony and I this morning. Nathaniel in his Twins helmet (too big for daddy's head even) walking around the living room playing and reading this morning as if it was typical to wear a baseball helmet while playing in the morning. Another smile that tells me things will turn out ok, even if I am nuts.



Saturday, November 5, 2011

Freaking Out - HELP!

We had our 5th anniversary yesterday. It was a long day at work writing reports, watching the tarps fall down towards my head again (a second failed effort at increased safety from falling ceiling tiles in our office), and then a wonderful night out. I took the bus and then the light rail downtown to meet Anthony outside City Hall and we headed to the Westin. I was not very impressed by the 4 star hotel in the end (noisy noisy hall at all hours of the night and a shower faucet that was impossible to turn on - one thing I can blame the hotel for the other I can't). After we checked in, we did have a lovely evening.

It was a gorgeous fall night to walk around downtown. It wasn't quite as warm as the day we got married, but still a nice night for a walk around downtown. We had a delicious dinner at McCormick's with no room for dessert and then headed to the deserted block E for a movie. There were about 6 other people in the theater as we watched Moneyball. It was a very enjoyable movie for both of us. It got out early enough to take the skyway back to the hotel and we relaxed before turning in late for us (10:30 pm). We were both sound out and ready for a good night's sleep in a king sized bed with the ability to sleep in past 7 am when a women and her yippy dogs made noise in the hall outside our room for 15+ minutes at nearly 2 am. I was then awake for the next 2 hours with contractions on and off. I finally made it back to sleep between 3:30 and 4. Not exactly the restful night I was looking for and of course my brain started to freak out quickly.

I am 5 weeks away from my due date and I was overdue with Nathaniel, so I was just in the mindset that this time around would be similar. I had planned to work even past my due date in order to get things set before going on maternity leave. Last night, got my mind in a whirlwind of chaos. I started thinking about all the due process, billing, and prep I have to do in the next 2 weeks (and more so was planning to do in the next 2 weeks). I started to think that I should try to get things done this weekend just in case this baby decides to come early. I started to think about the scramble to get notes ready for my sub and realized 2 am was not the time to think about it. We got some rest, and each took a nice long shower in the "heavenly shower" with dual shower heads at the Westin. We took the train back home and went out for a very late brunch. We headed to my folks' house to see Nathaniel and once he was down for a nap, I went online to start working on the due process, billing, etc that was making me freak out and what do I find, but that the website is unavailable. Now at 2 am I have a new email from that website about a compliance issue, but now this afternoon I can't get onto the website. This is very irritating and making me more insane. I think I need to just let it go, but I'm so not that type of person.

On a much lighter note, Nathaniel cheers me up. He is doing a lot of singing lately and seems to love to sing and also is saying several nursery rhymes. He is very interested in making "movies" of himself on mommy and daddy's phones so that he can watch himself sing and then sing along. If ever I need to cheer up, that is the easiest way for me to do it - just turn on my little man singing the ABCs, wheels on the bus, Roly Poly, Teddy Bear, 3 little fish (some of them "fast too").