Andrew Frederick de Sam Lazaro

Andrew is now 16 days old and what a 16 days it has been. I'm still trying to get used to timing everything with 2, but I think part of that is the lack of routine that we have had due to holidays and family visits, etc. I am really hoping that with the start of next week (holidays done and daddy back to work) and Andrew having been in the world for 3 weeks, Nathaniel, Andrew, and I will get into a rhythm together.

I went in for me 40 week check the day after my due date and got scheduled to be induced on Thursday 12/15/11 if nothing happened on its own. We spent the weekend walking at various stores and spending some time on the Wii Fit. My water broke on Sunday evening, 12/11/11. It may have broken earlier in the day, but I noticed it for sure that evening. I went in to make sure that it really was my water and was kept there. The doctor started pitocin to get the contractions going stronger at about 1:30 am on 12/12/11. Andrew arrived just over 12 hours later at 1:56 pm. It was very similar to what happened with the induction for Nathaniel - drugs/medical intervention started with him at 9:30 in the morning and he was born at 9:36 pm. A grueling 12 hours for both, but when the time came to push them out, they were both really easy on me. I pushed through 3 contractions (less than 10 minutes in the pushing phase) and Andrew was here. He was vocal from the beginning and certainly lets us know when he wants/needs something. I guess he learned in utero that if he wants to be heard he will have to be louder than his chatty older brother.

Anthony and I had both guessed we were having another boy, so we weren't too surprised when we saw we had another "he". My first words when seeing him were "you look just like your brother". He does resemble Nathaniel a lot, but is starting, even at just 2 weeks, to look more distinctive and like "himself".

Nathaniel has been doing well for the most part. He likes to look at Andrew and hold his hand and will sing to him as well. Andrew definitely recognizes Nathaniel's voice. We could tell that he recognized his voice from their first meeting. I really hope they grow to enjoy lots of things with each other. Nathaniel is for sure jealous of the time that Andrew has with mommy. He climbs up into the chair with us often and seizes the opportunity to sit on my lap when Andrew is napping or finished eating (and daddy takes him to get changed, etc). I am hoping that as the three of us establish a routine some of the jealousy will diminish. I have been trying my best to give Nathaniel play time with mommy as well as time with mommy to do dishes and laundry and take baths and all of his favorite things. It has been difficult however as Andrew is a hearty eater, especially during the day. He eats every 2 hours during the day, sometimes more frequently and then usually goes 4-5 hour stretches between feedings at night. I will take the extra night time sleep (even if it means engorgement, discomfort, and extra pumping at night) in exchange for "hungry days". He usually takes a good nap in the afternoon, which has coincided nicely with Nathaniel's nap (good for mommy to rest or get things done, but not the best for mommy/Nathaniel time). I know I can't expect him to do well with all of this change overnight, but I'm hoping once the holidays are fully over and we get into a routine things will be smoother.

Here are a few pictures of my boys.

Nathaniel and Andrew meet

Nathaniel is excited to see mommy and baby brother

Giving Andrew a kiss

One of his favorite things - rubbing Andrew's head

Mommy checking out Andrew

All of my boys

Just born

One of Mommy and Andrew's first picture together

One of Daddy and Andrew's first pictures together

Nathaniel saying good night to Andrew his first night at home

Christmas Eve - The first time Nathaniel "held" Andrew

Our Family of Three to Become Family of Four

So the "nesting" continues here at our house. Going through massive amounts of stacked up mail, papers, and general mess. Laundry, ironing, putting things away in general are all consuming my time. I also finished some crocheting today and got all the pictures from July of this year until now onto my new computer. I think Anthony got his "nesting" out last week as this weekend he is just back to being antsy as usual. He is playing various video games, surfing the web, reading on and off, and just pacing the house driving me nuts. I don't know what to do for him, but at this point I think he is more anxious for this baby to come out than I am. I must be driving him crazy.

We took a picture of the three of us on Thanksgiving to put in the baby book for our newest family member to have a picture of our family just before his/her arrival. Nathaniel had been sitting on Auntie Erin's lap with his baby cousin Nikolas for pictures before this picture was taken, so he was ready to be done with pictures by that time. Here is our family of 3 soon to be 4.

This one has our silly man.

We are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of our newest family member. Everyone is anxious and expects exciting news whenever they see a call from our house. We are disappointing them frequently - especially my mom since I talk to her several times a day. I am resigned to the idea that I just am not capable of going into labor on my own and that I will have to be induced on Thursday. I am not looking forward to induction since last time I had some rough spells with it, but if it gets the job done and brings our baby into the world safely that is okay with me in the end. Usually you don't get to pick your child's birthday, but we picked Nathaniel's and it looks like we're picking this little one's as well. Maybe this one will surprise me. For now, let's assume we'll have news for everyone on Thursday.

An aside: While I was typing this Nathaniel asked if he could "make some letters with mommy". So here are Nathaniel's letters and thoughts for all of you:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

(Can you tell he likes to sing the alphabet song? It only took one letter for him to figure out he doesn't need to hold the key down for it to show up. Our smart little man.)

The Things I Missed Out on in OT School

So several of us were talking at work recently about knitting, crocheting, and sewing. This topic came up as many of us bring our knitting or crocheting to staff development days in order to increase our attention. One colleague was recalling knitting and sewing as part of one of her OT courses. She learned to knit as a young girl which helped her in this course. By the time I started OT school crocheting, sewing, and knitting were no longer part of the curriculum. We did however do copper tooling, leather work, and some woodworking. I made a cute Christmas decoration in that class with use of a band saw, some glue, and some paint. My mom puts it up in our home every year and it has become a moving target for amusement in the family. (It sits on a door frame or windowsill and my family members like to move this Santa around the family room and place him upside down). What family fun a class in OT school has brought us for the past 7 years.

I missed out on the sewing, knitting, and crochet instruction. I do know how to crochet though. I don't know that I could ever get the hang of knitting. My grandmother taught me to crochet while I was in elementary school and I have learned to progress these skills over the years in order to make more complex projects. Why is all of this on my mind? I am behind on my current crochet project. I finished the baby's afghan. I whipped up a hat for my nephew a couple weeks ago and a couple for our baby as well. I finally spent time today finishing the baby's Christmas stocking. I have been working on it on and off for weeks. I made most of Nathaniel's Christmas stocking on our bus trip to Detroit and back in 2 years ago. I went off the pattern a bit for the baby's stocking making it a bit wider and with fewer panels. It looks a lot bigger than Nathaniel's but I don't think it is much bigger and I think the differentiation of the 2 is important. Maybe one of these years I will get a chance to make stockings for Anthony and I as well. I made a tree skirt for my mom last year and hopefully one year I will have time to make one for our home too.

Here are a couple pictures of the stockings:

Baby's Christmas Stocking minus name

All four of our stockings

Baby Time - Anytime Now, Right?

Much like Nathaniel this baby is proving to be a stubborn Austrian as well. Today is my "official due date" and no baby yet. I was induced 5 days after my due date with Nathaniel mostly because I requested that date as they would have waited another 2-3 more if needed. Both Anthony and I are hoping this little one comes on his/her own and that I won't have to be induced again. We were lucky with Nathaniel that the morning of my scheduled induction there was space for me at the hospital. We may not be so lucky again and may have to wait longer.

I am sitting here this evening drinking raspberry tea. One of my coworkers brought it in to work for me yesterday as it is supposed to help induce labor or at least help make the contractions stronger and more progressive. The cup I had yesterday actually eased the contractions I had been having during the night and morning. This evening it doesn't seem to be doing anything either way. BUT ... it tastes good and is a nice warm drink on a cold December evening.

As I sit here I have been thinking about how this year the day after Thanksgiving was much different than the day after Thanksgiving 6 years ago. We got engaged the day after Thanksgiving, November 25th of 2005. We spent the day together and then met friends at the Gasthof for drinks and dancing that evening. The following day we had dinner at the Glockenspiel with our parents and grandparents. This year we spent a long evening in the hospital and tried to have a semi-relaxing weekend at home while I was uncomfortable with a headache. Nathaniel on the other hand got to spend time with our extended family who he doesn't see often, but enjoys spending time with and talking about. He got the better end of the deal I guess.

Nathaniel's due date was around many family members' (alive and gone) birthdays. We were waiting to see if he would arrive on his Great Auntie Mary's birthday, his Great Uncle Anthony's birthday, his Great-Grandpa Edward's birthday, a couple second cousins' birthdays, or his Auntie Shireen's birthday/Grandparents' Anniversary. He decided to come out on his own day once the doctors helped get things started and that is just fine.

This little one is in a similar situation. Several family member birthdays have come and gone. My cousin's fiance, my aunt, Grandma Betts, and mom's cousin (all the same day), and now today is almost gone and was my great-grandfather's birthday. There are still more to come. I don't know that tomorrow is anyone in the family's birthday, but Saturday is my Uncle Russel's birthday as well as my Great-Uncle Henry's birthday. My initial prediction for baby's birthday was December 10th since Nathaniel is July 10th, so we'll see if this little one gets to share a birthday with his/her great-uncle and great-great uncle. However, maybe he/she wants a birthday of his/her own, in which case tomorrow is a fine day ;).

There are other predictions coming in about baby as well. My in-laws leave town early tomorrow morning for a long weekend in Portland, OR, so many of us are predicting that baby will arrive while they are gone. My latest prediction is that baby will decide to make an appearance on Monday. All of my paperwork has been turned in and processed for my doctoral program and I am scheduled for either a Skype or in person interview on Monday afternoon. My prediction is that I will be in labor on Monday and be unable to make that interview and have to reschedule it for later next week. Let's hope that is not the case, but this little one will determine his/her own entrance into the world.

The best thing is that whenever baby arrives we are ready. My substitute starts work on Monday, so I will be off and resting with Nathaniel next week if baby is not here yet. I am ready to be done at work anytime and my loose ends are tied up for the most part. Anthony's work stuff is tied up and he will be able to be at home with us from baby's arrival until after New Years' when he starts at the firm. We are ready to go. Nathaniel on the other hand may not be so ready, but I am hoping he will be excited once the baby is here. He continues to mostly say "baby brother" and I think most people think the baby is a boy (including Anthony and I), but we will all be pleasantly surprised with a girl. There are a few convinced the baby is a girl and hoping the baby is a girl. Hopefully within the next week we will know and have a wonderful new addition to our family.

I will be sure to keep everyone posted on baby's arrival and name and pictures when the time comes. I will also keep you all posted on my insanity with interviewing and maybe getting into the doctoral program. Much less exciting news than a baby, but news none the less.

Thanksgiving Excitement, or Not So Much

This is the first time since the year we got married that we didn't write a "Thanksgiving Letter" and get it out on/before Thanksgiving. Our anniversary is November 4th, so the year we were married we just sent out a wedding picture for our holiday card. We both look forward to and LOVE Thanksgiving. Lots of good food and good times with family. No worries about gift giving or timing of everything. Just sit and eat and talk and have a good time. This year we decided to wait on the letter because of baby's arrival and we want to include that news in our holiday "thanks" this year.

This year was no exception. I am pregnant and love Thanksgiving food, so it was wonderful to feel guilt-free eating and snacking on 2 meals and lots of dessert on Thursday. We got Nathaniel down for his nap before our first meal, so it was also filled with child-free eating enjoyment. He slept for a decent nap, but was a bit overwhelmed by the 16 people there to welcome him from his nap. He enjoyed the time with "lots of people" before his nap as not everyone had arrived yet and sat well to take a picture with his Auntie Erin and cousin Nikolas as well as a picture with Mommy and Daddy for "Nathaniel's Baby's" baby book.

After Nathaniel's nap we headed to Anthony's parents' house for Thanksgiving in our pjs. It was nice to be relaxed and comfortable, especially being 38 weeks pregnant. Nathaniel was again a bit overwhelmed by the 18 people at this gathering, but enjoyed playing and showing off all his smarts to everyone. He crashed hard on Thursday night that is for sure.

We didn't do any Black Friday shopping this year. We just had a leisurely morning and then went to visit with Grandma and Grandpa D and Auntie Shireen. Anthony went with me to my OB appointment and that was good as I tripped and fell up the stairs on the way into the clinic and ended up in triage observation for 6 hours on Friday afternoon/evening. Not exactly what we had expected as we were planning to go to Anthony's aunt's house for dinner that evening. I came home having lost 6 hours and with a horrible headache. Thankfully Grandma and Grandpa D kept Nathaniel overnight so we were both able to get some extra sleep. It didn't really help my headache, but such is life. The headache has been going on and off since Friday, but the OB on call does not think it is anything to worry about unless it get worse or I start to have other symptoms. Let's hope all goes well and this little one stays in a little longer. Though the "nesting" instict hit me today and I did that rather than "work work", which is probably a good thing.

We got a Christmas Tree today - the earliest we have ever had one and even before we planned to get one today, I started to rearrange and move some of Nathaniel's toys upstairs so that we have more room in the living room and also give him another place to play. The upstairs in is good shape for him to play and I also wrapped all of his, the baby's, and my nephew's presents. I'm ahead of the game this year. Maybe I'm feeling like I should be more prepared for this little one's arrival. Though I think the sooner s/he arrives the easier it will be to get some things ready for Christmas later. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else but me though.

A couple other notes about baby. We had an ultra sound on Wednesday and everything looked fine with the baby measuring on the small side (a couple weeks behind, but there is a large margin of error this late in the game). We got a front view picture of baby's face and in some ways baby looks like big brother Nathaniel, but as Nathaniel says, "baby has a squishy face". My amniotic fluid is on the low end of normal, so the baby doesn't have a lot of space to move in there. And one added thing to the whole 6 hours in triage. The baby's heartrate was over 150 and in the 160s most of the time. The old wives tale is that over 140 means a girl, under 140 means a boy. So while many of us still think we're having another boy, Auntie Erin is waiting for her niece to arrive and a few others are hopeful for a little girl as well.

We will soon find out and let you know what our new addition is and what his/her name is.

Preparing to be a Mom Again

This past week I worked while many of my teammates had a break from work. It was awesome to have a relatively quiet office to work in and get lots of paperwork done. Unfortunately, there is a whole lot left undone. I will probably end up spending some of Nathaniel's nap time on Monday and Tuesday working on a bit of work to prepare for the crazy week back after Thanksgiving break. I can't believe we are getting this close to the end, but after some long days of sitting at my desk and lots of driving in my car, my body is starting to tell me lots of messages. The first message I hear is "you didn't strengthen those muscles enough between pregnancies ... we aren't strong enough to do what you want us to do". The second one I hear is "this baby is head down and practicing pushing his/her way out". The third one is "get to a restroom ASAP ... again those muscles we were telling you about". And the last one I get on and off "let's practice this whole contractions and downward movement thing". My poor husband has been under a lot of stress preparing for an arbitration and I have been awake on and off and having a hard time being comfortable at night. I am sure I am no help to his sleeplessness.

As I have been working non-stop to get evaluations and other due process done prior to my maternity leave I am noticing more and more how many philosophical differences are in play in our early childhood program. It is too much for my brain to try and sort out at the moment. I'm hoping that when I return from maternity leave a lot of the headache will have been sorted out in my absence. Is is sad that I am really looking forward to maternity leave? This is only partially related to having a baby and all of that excitement. It is also partially related to wanting and needing a break from work drama. I am sure once baby is here it will drastically change and I will just be focused on baby and family, but right now I'm looking forward to the break from work. The sad thing is that many co-workers have noticed the increased stress around my new role at work and have commented that "you must be looking forward to maternity leave". Once the comments continued to roll in I was thinking about it more and more. The nice thing about heading into maternity leave is my sub. I took her position when she retired and we had a few months to work together as mentor/mentee. She filled in for my last maternity leave and I had nothing to worry or think about as I knew everything would be taken care of while I was out. I know this time will be no different and it is so nice to have that sense of ease when moving out of work and leaving a lot of stuff to do.

So where are we? My body is getting ready to have this baby. My brain is working on organizing work life to have everything in place for my substitute and my leave of absence. Our house is basically ready. We have the carseat in the car. We have the bags packed. We know where to go. Anthony's big case is over, minus the post hearing brief. I guess the baby can really come whenever he/she is ready. I, however, know how important every day closer to 40 weeks is for the baby's development. I also would love to be able to work for a couple more weeks so that everything is really wrapped up and ready to go. I am going to do my best to enjoy this week off and not do much work. I spent the weekend getting my application finished and submitted for my OTD program. (Yikes!) I will probably write a couple of assessments or at least parts of assessments and will for sure spend a little time writing coverage notes for some of my students and I'm sure I will be doing quite a bit of email. But that will be done while Nathaniel naps so that he and I can spend what will probably be our last chance for a while to have "mommy and Nathaniel" time. He had some fun outside with daddy in the snow this morning and all of it is supposed to melt this week, so I think we'll have some fun running errands and having lots of playtime in our inside playground. (His slide is back in the basement and we have lots of fun with balls and time on the slide).

So while my body and mind are preparing for childbirth and having 2 children, I am going to do my best to enjoy the little man that I have. He gives Anthony and I lots to smile and laugh about on a daily basis. Below are some pictures from his adventure in the first snow of the season as well as his pre-bedtime call to his Auntie Erin.

Calling Auntie Erin

Trying out the shovel

Gave up on the shovel - Decided to use his hands to help daddy get the snow off the deck instead

Nathaniel and his purple shovel

OTD - I must be nuts

Sitting in the recliner, completely uncomfortable, and updating my resume and writing a personal statement to go back to school for a clinical doctorate. I must be nuts.

The baby is kicking in all awkward ways. I am not sleeping partly due to cold/illness, partly due to a 2 year old with a cold/illness, and partly due to being less than 4 weeks from my due date. No more big bouts of contractions since last weekend thankfully, but I am getting very uncomfortable these days. It's just getting towards the end where I really do have to pay attention to changing my position frequently, which can be difficult for me, especially when I am in a rhythm of writing reports or doing billing or other paperwork.

I had my first of my last 4 weekly OB appointments on Friday. Yikes - we are in the home stretch. It was check-up as usual, but again with the end of this pregnancy I am measuring on the small side. This means another late term ultrasound in 1-2 weeks to made sure the baby is the right size. I think this one will just be like Nathaniel and it's all baby in there with not as much room/fluid to make me larger. I'm a small person. There is only so much space for this baby to grow. But I guess best to be on the safe side and have another ultrasound. We'll see if I spot anything this time to make me think boy or girl. I thought I spotted something when I had my late term ultrasound with Nathaniel, but then the ultrasound tech said something about long fingers, so I second guessed myself. I love the surprise anyway and getting to hear it come from Anthony is great too. My hemoglobin is low again, so I'm back to taking more iron supplements now and probably after baby arrives since I was low on iron after Nathaniel. No wonder I am so tired - overworked, very pregnant, and low iron count in my blood. The biggest news from the visit is that I am starting to dilate (a very small amount). This is no sign that the baby is coming early per my OB, but it is big news in this house because this is more than I progressed on my own with Nathaniel. Only time will tell when this little one decides to come, but hopefully not until after daddy's trial on Friday and after I get a bunch of work things settled in the next couple of weeks.

We are starting to feel ready around here however. We have the cradle back in our room and Nathaniel rocks it every day. It is the cradle that Anthony's grandfather made for his children. Grandma Kay slept in it, daddy slept in it, Nathaniel slept in it (among many other aunts, uncle, and cousins) and now this little one will sleep in it. My bags are packed with a exception of a few toiletries and the car seat is in the car. I think we are ready physically and getting there mentally. Nathaniel continues to want to "see the baby" every day - which means lifting up my shirt so that he can press his hands and face on my belly and fingers into my belly button as the baby is "inside there".

Here's an image that brought smiles and laughter to Anthony and I this morning. Nathaniel in his Twins helmet (too big for daddy's head even) walking around the living room playing and reading this morning as if it was typical to wear a baseball helmet while playing in the morning. Another smile that tells me things will turn out ok, even if I am nuts.

Freaking Out - HELP!

We had our 5th anniversary yesterday. It was a long day at work writing reports, watching the tarps fall down towards my head again (a second failed effort at increased safety from falling ceiling tiles in our office), and then a wonderful night out. I took the bus and then the light rail downtown to meet Anthony outside City Hall and we headed to the Westin. I was not very impressed by the 4 star hotel in the end (noisy noisy hall at all hours of the night and a shower faucet that was impossible to turn on - one thing I can blame the hotel for the other I can't). After we checked in, we did have a lovely evening.

It was a gorgeous fall night to walk around downtown. It wasn't quite as warm as the day we got married, but still a nice night for a walk around downtown. We had a delicious dinner at McCormick's with no room for dessert and then headed to the deserted block E for a movie. There were about 6 other people in the theater as we watched Moneyball. It was a very enjoyable movie for both of us. It got out early enough to take the skyway back to the hotel and we relaxed before turning in late for us (10:30 pm). We were both sound out and ready for a good night's sleep in a king sized bed with the ability to sleep in past 7 am when a women and her yippy dogs made noise in the hall outside our room for 15+ minutes at nearly 2 am. I was then awake for the next 2 hours with contractions on and off. I finally made it back to sleep between 3:30 and 4. Not exactly the restful night I was looking for and of course my brain started to freak out quickly.

I am 5 weeks away from my due date and I was overdue with Nathaniel, so I was just in the mindset that this time around would be similar. I had planned to work even past my due date in order to get things set before going on maternity leave. Last night, got my mind in a whirlwind of chaos. I started thinking about all the due process, billing, and prep I have to do in the next 2 weeks (and more so was planning to do in the next 2 weeks). I started to think that I should try to get things done this weekend just in case this baby decides to come early. I started to think about the scramble to get notes ready for my sub and realized 2 am was not the time to think about it. We got some rest, and each took a nice long shower in the "heavenly shower" with dual shower heads at the Westin. We took the train back home and went out for a very late brunch. We headed to my folks' house to see Nathaniel and once he was down for a nap, I went online to start working on the due process, billing, etc that was making me freak out and what do I find, but that the website is unavailable. Now at 2 am I have a new email from that website about a compliance issue, but now this afternoon I can't get onto the website. This is very irritating and making me more insane. I think I need to just let it go, but I'm so not that type of person.

On a much lighter note, Nathaniel cheers me up. He is doing a lot of singing lately and seems to love to sing and also is saying several nursery rhymes. He is very interested in making "movies" of himself on mommy and daddy's phones so that he can watch himself sing and then sing along. If ever I need to cheer up, that is the easiest way for me to do it - just turn on my little man singing the ABCs, wheels on the bus, Roly Poly, Teddy Bear, 3 little fish (some of them "fast too").

More Weight Gain and Yet Still a Busy Boy

We had our most recent weight check yesterday, Oct 26, and Nathaniel gained 1/2 pound last week!!! He is eating a bit more every day and drinking less of the supplement when he eats more, so it is finally a good sign that something is sticking somewhere. We are continuing the acupressure massage 1x/day, but haven't been giving him the herbal supplement. I'm just glad he is asking for food more often (sometimes as a stall tactic - my little smartypants and manipulator) and eating well again. Let's keep the weight gain up.

On the other side of things, he is still as active and busy as ever. He is constantly cleaning the house with his vacuum or duster/swiffer. He is constantly on the go whether he's playing, cleaning, or sleeping. I don't know how he has so much energy and I wish I could steal some from him about now. He eats a few bites of something and suddenly is bursting with even more energy. The best part though is that he is so curious so everything he is doing helps him learn more and more about his world and he is learning more than I could have ever expected all the time.

Week Off With My Little Man

I had the past week off work and while I did go in to so an assessment on Monday and spent good portions of Nathaniel's naps on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday doing paperwork, it was a wonderful week of time spent with my little man.

Monday we went with my mom, sister, and nephew to get my nephew's 1 month old pictures taken. Nathaniel and I spent time at the playland at Rosedale and also checked out all the chairs and couches in the "Home" section at JCPenny.

Tuesday was spent with a trip to the dentist. Nathaniel was a little scared of the moving chair and wouldn't open his mouth for Auntie Cherie (our hygenist), but did like his new toothbrush.

Wednesday was spent hanging out at home. Nathaniel is suddenly very interested in playing with little people and animals. He was busy finding places for everyone in the barn, zoo, airport, and manger scene.

Thursday we got to take the train downtown to see daddy's work. He was super shy around all the people at daddy's work, but enjoyed walking around downtown, seeing the farmer's market, eating lunch at the restaurant, and riding on the train.

Friday we took Oma and Opa to the carpet store to pick out new carpet for their hallway and stairs. We also visited with Grandma Betts.

The week just seems like a blur now. Saturday was fun because we were all home together for a while. Nathaniel went with daddy to Trader Joe's to get new pumpkins since the squirrels ate the ones we got from the pumpkin patch. They brought home some flowers for me as well :) 

Nathaniel had his first experience digging the guts out of the pumpkins and mommy and daddy carved them out. Can you tell we have a 2 year old in our house? He was excited to see them with the candles in and the lights out. He got to spent the evening and night at Grandma and Grandpa Betts's house while mommy and daddy went to the Stars Championship Game (the first leg at least). He must have had fun because he didn't want us to come this morning to get him.

One busy week and only time to blog once. Yikes I am busy. One last picture for the week of our little man wearing his "band" (headband) at Grandma and Papa's house. Papa showed him the headband when we was diggging through the drawer for brushes and combs the other day.

Weigh-Ins and Feeding Clinic

We've been having weekly "weigh-ins" since Nathaniel's second birthday, basically. He's been weighed all too often for a child so young. He thankfully knows the drill. Check in, wait to be called back by "one of the ladies" (usually purusing Car and Driver or Motortrend Magazine while we wait), walk back to the scale, take shoes and jacket off, step on the scale and wait for a reaction, step off, put shoes and jacket back on, go get a sticker, and then leave for Oma and Opa's house for the day. For me it's the anxiety of will he have gained, lost, or stayed the same, always hoping it is anything other than weight loss.

This week he was back up 4 ounces - hooray. Then we went to feeding clinic this morning and he was down 1/2 pound on their scale from yesterday. There is so much variability from scale to scale and week to week apparently. No wonder I feel nuts.

Feeding clinic went well this morning. He ate for the "ladies". He was his normal self. His low facial tone was evident and we have some strength things to work on (which I was aware of) and his sensory aversions are not major. It felt validating to know that we're doing a good job and on the right track. On an even better note today Nathaniel ate really well all day, asked for snacks several times, and showed none of the toddler behaviors we have been dealing with at meals today.

Let's just hope the next couple of months continue in this positive direction with a weight curve of about the 3rd percentile.

On a semi-related note, how can one gain weight when you are as active as he is all the time. His newest activity choice is vacuuming. He cleans everything up (which is usually a lot of toys) and then proceeds to vacuum our entire first floor. My busy cleaning bee.

His Father's Son

I am the first to admit that Nathaniel gets a lot of his traits/personality/etc from me, but Thursday was another sign he may be more of his father's son. Nathaniel just turned 2 years, 3 months old and Thursday for the first time he didn't nap at all. Anthony has told me that he stopped napping at an early age. I really hope that this is not a sign that naps will stop soon. He appears to still need them, so I would hate to have him give them up so early.

A few other things that Nathaniel has been up to lately that remind me of his dad include:

- Constantly being on the go. The other day my grandfather said that he must have run back and forth from the kitchen to the living room "checking out the road" 50 times in the morning alone.
- Love of all "things that go". He loves cars, trucks, trains, tractors, daddy's transformers, etc. I hear Anthony had the same loves as a child.
- Memory for facts that others don't often know. Anthony's misc fact knowledge is much more misc than Nathaniel's at this point, however Nathaniel knows and remembers things that Anthony and I aren't often aware of in the environment.
- They are both total sensory seekers. Anthony seeks movement and oral input. Nathaniel also seeks movement and some oral input, but he also seeks tactile (touch) input.  On the flip side of that Nathaniel has sensory aversions to a few things, which he gets more from me.

I am frequently annoyed by some of their sensory seeking behaviors. However, I work on making our daily routines a "sensory diet" for both of them in various ways. Some days they are probably grateful and happy to have me as their wife and mom, while on others they probably wish they could do their own thing without me getting in their way. Last weekend we went to the apple orchard and pumpkin patch. It was daddy's idea. They both enjoyed it and while allergies got in the way for all of us, we didn't really notice because it was the perfect mix for all 3 of our unique sets of sensory needs.



Nathaniel and the pumkin he picked

Peeking out from the train

Busy driving the train

Enjoying the "bumpy ride" through the orchard on the tractor trailor

No G-Tube Yet :)

I haven't posted in a while. Work is consuming my time. But good news needs to be posted.

Nathaniel was up 12 ounces 2 weeks ago, another 4 ounces last week, and another 4 ounces yesterday. He is almost up to his end of the NG tube feeding weight and at the 3rd percentile. We have gotten the green light to keep up what we are doing and monitor his weight weekly and go back to the GI in another 2 months.

Nathaniel is doing well otherwise. His development is changing all the time. He drinks his higher calorie boost supplement, continues to love his vegetables and fruits, and is tolerating his new herbal supplement drops three times a day. I also get to stop being the OT in a couple weeks when we go to the feeding clinic for an evaluation. One of my former colleagues will be assisting in conducting his evaluation, so I know he will be in good hands. I don't know what new ideas will come our way, but I will be happy to have someone else directing his "therapy". Let's hope the weight gain continues and our 2 month check-up keeps him at at least the 3rd percentile with steady gain and developmental gain and no tube yet again.

Here's a picture of our little man in the spotlight dressing up for the photo booth at Anthony's cousin Ryan's wedding a couple weeks ago.

Something is Working!

We went in this morning for our 9th weekly weigh in since we started the feeding tube process. The feeding tube has now been out for 5 1/2 weeks and the past 5 "weigh-ins" have resulted in Nathaniel being the "biggest loser". We were not aiming for that. We were aiming for him to the the "biggest gainer" or at least have greater weight gain than he has had since he was a newborn/infant. He slowly went from his highest amount of 24 pounds even to his weight last week of 22 pounds and 4 ounces (still 1 full pound up from just before the feeding tube was placed). Today was different - hooray!

For the past week we have been doing acupressure massage with Nathaniel. He loves his massages and knows them by heart. We also added a higher calorie Boost supplement to his diet when it arrived on Friday. Daddy started using therapeutic meals and everyone else has followed suit since the end of last week. AND Nathaniel is asking for food sometimes again. He still loves to set the table and be a helper with mealtime.

So what happened today? We went into the clinic and as usual several CMAs, Grandma Betts, and mommy were all standing around for the big "weigh in". (The scale at the office is by one of the CMA pods and Nathaniel is well known at his clinic - Grandma and "Cousant" Analisa both work there and he is there often enough over the past 2 years for weigh-ins and blood work to be well known). He got on the scale and was at 23 Pounds!!!! That is 12 ounces in 1 week (we haven't seen that since the NG was placed). We all cheered. Nathaniel was sort of like "whatever" and just wanted to get his "doggy with the car sticker".

It was a triumph for us though and a relief all in one. I am filling out a lengthy packet of information to get him in for a feeding clinic evaluation. Many pages and many detailed notes from mommy the OT on there. We'll see when we get in and how much more change he has made by then.

Some Days I Think My Husband Could Be an OT

Today was one of those days where something has rubbed off onto Anthony after 7 years together. We started dating when I was beginning my 2nd year of OT school (7 years ago on Saturday) and I talked "OT" a lot during the two years we dated/were engaged and I continue to talk "OT" a lot being in practice for over 5 years now. I know he empathatically listens to a lot of things that I say about work and school (when I was in it), but I also know that he admits that a lot of it goes right over his head. Similar to how I listen to his legal talk, but don't understand most of what he is talking about. Today he proved that deep down there is a little OT inside him.

We were having dinner this evening. Nathaniel requested to set the table, requested noodles for dinner, and began to dig right into his meal when it was presented on his plate. Hooray for progress and happy mealtimes again (I hope). Of course, as usual, after several minutes of eating well, he slowed his eating down dramatically eating very little and needing to be reminded to eat. That is where my husband rolled in to save the day. Nathaniel asked to have "a few cars" at the table for dinner. So daddy brought some over and each car delivered a piece of food. This was a willing game for Nathaniel and he ate every bite delivered plus extra bites off his plate and then sent the cars back to daddy for more "loads". This was a true therapeutic meal. Therapeutic mealtimes are a classic way to get children who have developed aversions to mealtimes, oral intake, etc, to get back into enjoying mealtime and finding it pleasant and fun. Hooray for daddy!!!! He came up with it on his own without me even mentioning therapeutic mealtimes to him during these last several weeks of mealtime struggles. Like I said, something must have rubbed off. (It worked at bedtime snack too - which usually is an ok time, but we had more intake tonight than we usually do). Let's hope we are continuing on the track to eating well again.

On a side note, Nathaniel is tolerating his acupressure massage very well and even knows the routine of massage steps better than I do some days. His bowels have seemed to have slowed down since starting this. I am hoping that this in combination with some periods of increased oral intake and higher calorie boost will help him plateau rather than lose weight this week and eventually begin to gain again (even if it is his slow steady gain of 1 ounce/week). Just being a mom and praying we are now going into forward momentum as well as trying everything I can to make it work and being an OT and using all my sensory processing and feeding knowledge to help him on the right track.

Picnic Time

Nathaniel and I played "picnic" with a bunch of his stuffed animals and toy food yesterday. Today when he woke up that is just what he wanted to do. He proceeded to bring many "friends" and "foods" to the table for breakfast. So this morning we (Nathaniel and I) had breakfast with Baby Stacy, Baby Bruno, and Baby Freddie, as well as several animals, lots of pretend food, and some real food as well. It was a successful meal and he also had a nice sized snack during mass this morning. I hate to say we're turning a corner because we might end up turning back around that same corner in the opposite direction next week. However, I feel happy for the success this morning. Plus there was an added bonus of a pretty fun meal with all of our "friends". On a side note, Sonja dog joined us too. She had to come because "she goes chomp, chomp, chomp". (For those who don't know Sonja is my in-law's dalmation and she has some special needs, one of which is seizures/ticks where she chomps/snaps the air, so every dalmation is a Sonja dog in our house and is thought of very fondly by her favorite little friend, Nathaniel).

 Baby Stacy, Baby Bruno, and Baby Freddie ready for the picnic

Our "friends" and "foods"

Craniosacral and Kinesiotape

Nathaniel had a fairly good day of eating today per Oma/Opa's report - getting back to pre-NG tube meals/snacks. I, however, arrived home post a long nap and a 4 hour interval between meals and he was CRANKY. I continue to wonder if he is just not getting proper hunger signals and/or does not interpret them well. He had also just bumped his lip, so I had poor timing today. Despite protests that he didn't want to eat, he easily ate 1/2 of a peach prior to insisting on a walk with Oma. We came home and had some "quiet" relax time with his favorite pals and started out dinner ok, but the crankiness returned. So we ended up leaving the table, calming down on the couch, and spending a chunk of time doing some CST (craniosacral therapy) on his head and diaphragm. I have been doing CST treatments to his tummy for a long time and at times it was the only thing that would get him back to sleep when he would wake up distressed (this was a period of time from about 14-18 months when he would wake at night and stay awake for 1-2 hours in what appeared to be pain/discomfort). Tonight it worked again. He rose after several minutes of my hands on his head and moved from distress to happiness and proceeded to eat a grown-up sized handful of his new favorite crackers (Club House Minis - which are thankfully high in calories). We also discovered this evening that he likes the Boost Essentials Vanilla Flavor (Yeah - 240 calories per container). One other benefit to the CST, another bowel movement. It seems lately half of his meals are interrupted by tummy issues in the need to move his bowels. His bowel movements slowed when he was on a liquid diet and since starting to eat more again have increased in frequency - such fun for a little man. He is so much happier when it is done too. I think we'll be back to daily CST sessions during stories at bedtime or our "witching hour" quiet time.

The other thing I decided to try tonight was kinesiotape for his tummy. I have been using kinesiotape with a few different students every week for the past year and a half and have used it on myself and Anthony for various muscle issues, but have not used it with Nathaniel until today. I decided it is worth a try to see if it assists with any digestive issues he may be having, but they have not found medically. I am also hoping it will maybe do something for appetite stimulation.

We will see how it all pans out, but so far tonight I'm hopeful. As one of my fellow positive-minded co-workers says, "it never hurts to try another tool from your toolbox". If any of my other therapist friends/readers have other ideas from their toolboxes to share, please let me know. Thankfully Nathaniel is an easy-going child and very willing to let mommy try new "tools" with him.

Feeling Discouraged, But Following My Gut

By the end of the year, I think we are going to feel really "doctored out" in this house. I know I will at least be sick of all the statements from the insurance companies and subsequent bills to sort and decifer. We have weight checks every week, plus all of my OB checks, plus some other consultations for myself and Anthony, along with Nathaniel's consultations, we feel like we are at one doctor or another every day. We have to be close to reaching Nathaniel's out of pocket max for the year at any time and mine may very well be met before this new one arrives as well, so maybe that will make things less overwhelming.

Another appointment today and as I suspected everything in his ears and throat look good. He continues to drop in weight back down to his old percentile, but is still over a pound more than he was at his second birthday (not quite 8 weeks ago). At the weight gain rate he had prior to the NG tube he would not have been to his current weight for another 10-12 weeks.

Here is the discouraging part ... he is starting to get back to his pre-NG tube eating patterns. He is much more pleasant and less averse at meals. He has been eating regular snacks and meals (with some behaviors here and there - but that may also be part of him being a determined 2-year-old) and I am starting to feel like we are getting closer and closer to the same number of calories through oral intake as he was getting via NG tube. I am not meticulously counting, but eyeballing it all. Yet he continues to lose. My gut says we have to stick out other interventions for a while to see if we can get him eating well again and to see if we can pack in whatever calories we can to get him to at least maintain and go back to his old weight gain pattern before putting a G-tube into his litte tummy. He has been so closely watched with his weight for 1 1/2 years and this is the first time we are dealing with a weight loss. It is just so discouraging to not know what the best course of action is for one's own child. And on top of that to have no real reasons behind the slow weight gain (though now the loss can probably be attributed to his eating patterns having changed).

My gut says ... stick it out and try the less invasive strategies that have been working. It also says we should try the idea given to us by Nathaniel's physician today ... acupuncture. He is scheduled for an appointment next Wednesday. I am hopeful to just try another less invasive method of addressing the weight concern (since height, head size, and development are not concerns in this picture). I am also anxious to see when we may be able to get into feeding clinic so that I as a mom can have support from therapists and can back off the therapist role and let someone else take the lead with that. I can't wait for that extra stress to be taken away from me and the added support headed in our direction.

Brushing Protocol Round 2

Being a pediatric OT has obviously affected the way that I parent, but more and more I am realizing how many things I have done for/with Nathaniel due to my education and work. I have obviously analyzed him subconsciously since the moment he was born with OT eyes underneath my mothering ones. I analyzed his movement and sensory development as well as every other part of his development on a daily basis. I watched his primitive reflexes come and go and made sure he was on track in every part of development as the days went along. I mean, that is my job, to assist other parents in helping their children move through all the stages of development. It was almost done without noticing or thinking some of the time.

So from day 1, I positioned him in certain ways to work on various things and have done many things to help him develop better tone/posture (already). I have watched his tone and his gross motor development as well as postural compensations at every step along the way. I brought him in to see an orthotist and got him orthotics to wear for a while. He still has low tone. I am still watching his gait and movement and will probably use kinesiotape with him down the road; I'll do anything to help him prevent having the gait issues his father has down the road.

I also have known since he was very very young that he is a "sensory seeker" just like his dad. He loves to be on the move, loves to explore things with his hands (and whole body), loves to chew on things (and uses this method to calm - much like his father), and thoroughly enjoys music, lights, fans, mirrors, and any funny sounds. I have never seen him as a sensory sensitive or sensory averse child (with the exception of playground swings). Of course he went through phases where the vacuum cleaner scared him and he doesn't like water in his face/eyes much in the bath, but those to me are within the typical when it comes to infants/toddlers. I did however notice that he had a hard time calming himself to sleep (probably because he revved so easily) and started the Wilbarger Deep Pressure Protocol (therapeutic brushing and joint compressions) when he was a little over 1 year old to help aid his sleep patterns and also made him a weighted blanket to go to bed with at night. I taught my husband how to use the brush and we stuck with it for the 6 weeks at 5-6 times a day and then weaned him off.  I have used the protocol with many other families and children and even used it on myself, so it just seemed like the right thing to do and it worked. The combination of that and the weighted blanket made sleep so much better in our house and made him more regulated and relaxed throughout the day. His development just spurted overnight it seemed.

So here we are, over a year later, and I'm back to brushing him. This time it's for sensory aversions though. Apparently something with the NG tube (the feeding tube that went down his nose and into his esophagus and stomach for almost 4 weeks) and all the cares associated with it caused things to switch and my little boy to be very averse to food entering his mouth. Now I am not saying he wasn't a "bird eater" before all of this happened. He was a snacker - small meals every 2-3 hours and lots of milk to help those snacks fill him a bit. He woke hungry to nurse at night until he was 10 months old (and I know this was hunger as he only drank 4-6 ounces at most at a feeding during daytime hours at his peak liquid period - I think he drank an 8 ounce bottle once). He has always been a slow eater as well. Part of this is low tone and part is probably laziness. He knows it is work to eat and he, as most toddlers, would rather be playing.  However, I never ever worried that he was averse to mealtimes or utensils or textures (other than stage 3 foods - which are wrong and a whole different story IMO). He used to eat pretty much everything. His favorite foods continue to be ANY GREEN VEGETABLE (and I mean any - broccoli, peas, green beans, edamame, asparagus, green peppers, lima beans, and the list goes on) as well as any fruits. These of course don't pack much caloric punch to a small child. He would feed himself at meals for a while, but then got lazy and preferred to be fed for the remainder of the meal. I didn't push it as I figured as long as he wanted to keep eating, he'd get the self-feeding thing eventually. He, unlike many kids, needed reminders to eat though as I don't think he got clear hunger signals, though we as adults could read them loud and clear. So while he was a slow eater with high metabolism and a small stomach, he was eating and we just wanted him to gain more weight if he could. (He gained on average 1 ounce/week from age 7 months until age 2 when they placed the feeding tube). 2 days after his second birthday the NG was placed and something changed. He gained nearly 3 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks and stopped taking basically anything by mouth except for some liquids. We were told this is normal as he was getting the calories he needed overnight and gaining nicely on it and that kids will start eating by mouth again. Now here we are 3 weeks later and still struggling with mealtimes. He is acting like the kids I have worked with who have sensory aversions to their face and mouth and who are fearful of mealtimes. What happened to my boy?

So I decided it was time to brush him again. It has now been 4 days and again I think it is working. This time around it is just like what I have said to many parents that I work with: "try to get it in every 2 hours, but usually the ones who really need it will let you know when it's time for another "dose"; older ones will ask for it, while younger ones will show behavior changes and you will just know". Every 1 1/2 to 2 hours he starts to get cranky and irritable, I check the clock and notice, "oh it's about time for brushing", I brush him and we are happy and ready to go again. The nice thing is that it is often timed out well to be before meal or snacktime and has seemed to help that routine as well. There aren't enough studies out there to prove/disprove this therapeutic technique, but with my own son, yet again, it seems to be doing the trick. It has only been 4 days, but over the next week I'm sure I'll have more confidence one way or another on this one. Yet again being an OT has maybe, just maybe, helped me stay a little saner as a parent.

Welcome

I decided to start a blog to give updates on our life in the de Sam Lazaro house and particularly give updates on Nathaniel and our baby to be. So here it goes ...

We're currently in the waiting game with Nathaniel. It has been 4 weeks off the feeding tube and he is down 3/4 pound since getting it removed. We've been struggling with meals since he had it placed, but this weekend we have maybe finally begun to move in the right direction. Yesterday morning for the first time in almost 2 months he asked to set the entire table before breakfast and ate all his meals without distress/struggle and even fed himself part of dinner (it has been almost 2 months since that last happened as well). Then this morning for the first time since getting his tube placed on July 12th, he asked for a bite of daddy's waffle and then proceeded to ask for his own. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm just hoping that all continues to move in this positive direction so that he can start to gain/maintain his new weight curve. Hopefully all the sensory stuff I am doing with him, the feeding clinic referral, and the return to a regular routine will help.

In other more positive news, Nathaniel is just as delightful as ever. He continues to talk non-stop and comes up with so many observations and comments that surprise us all of the time. His favorite things continue to be cars/trains/campers/anything that moves and anything about being outside (walks, playing in the sand and rocks, watering, and climbing/playing at the playground). We are sad for our summer to be over. It was nice to have so much time off to just spend time together, but I think he will be happy for his normal routine to return. He's excited for "school" (ECFE) and dancing to start up again as well.

Hoping to continue to post comments and pictures in the days/weeks/months to come.